Some unusual headlines

I figured I would take a slight change of pace, and poke some fun at some of the funny news stories I've seen links to lately. Quotes after the fold.

From the Billings Gazette in Montana:

When driving down U.S. Highway 93 through Hamilton, there's no need to do a double-take when you see the sign hanging above the Radio Shack Super Store.
You read it right. Customers who buy Dish Network will be rewarded with a firearm.
"I think it really, really fits the Bitterroot Valley," said Steve Strand, who has owned Hamilton's Radio Shack for about seven years.
Strand, along with store manager Fabian Levy, wanted to generate more foot traffic at their location. So far, the gun giveaway has worked like a charm.
Qualifying customers have the choice between a Hi Point 380 pistol or a 20-gauge shotgun. The deal is only good for new Dish Network customers and they must buy a certain amount of equipment to qualify for the free gun.
After the customer signs a service contract and sets up an install date, they are given a gift certificate for their gun. They can also opt for a $50 gift card from Pizza Hut if they prefer, Strand said. And customers who purchase new Dish Network service that don't qualify for a firearm are still given the Pizza Hut gift card. The gift certificate is good at Frontier Guns & Ammo, located north of Hamilton on Sheafman Creek Road. They are then put through a background check, also free with the promotion, before receiving their gun. "We're not just giving guns to felons," Levy said.

From Mazda, via KDVR Fox 31 in Denver:

WASHINGTON -- Mazda is recalling roughly 52,000 Mazda6 sedans because yellow sac spiders apparently like to make themselves at home in part of the fuel system.
The Japanese automaker is recalling Mazda6 cars from the 2009-2010 model years, built between April 2008 and February 2010.
"A certain type of spider may weave a web in the evaporative canister vent line and this may cause a restriction of the line," Mazda said in a letter to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.
Pressure on the fuel tank could lead to a crack, causing fuel leakage and the risk of a fire.
According to CNN, there have been 20 reported cases of spider infestation in the Mazda6 -- all have been in cars with 4-cylinder engines, none with V6's.
No actual fires are known to have been caused by the spiders, according to Mazda's letter.

From the Scranton Times Tribune:

A search of Ms. Mackaliunas['s vagina] by a doctor at Community Medical Center turned up 54 bags of heroin, 31 empty bags used to package heroin, 8.5 prescription pills and $51.22.

From BBC a couple of years ago:

Six-year-old Sam Pointon from Leicester wrote to the [National Railway Museum in York] and applied to replace retiring director Andrew Scott. In his application Sam wrote: "I have an electrick [sic] train track. I am good on my train track. I can control two trains at once." Bosses were so taken with his enthusiasm they offered him a role as director of fun.
Sam said: "It is the best job in the world. I love it. It is good fun. My favourite is the steam engine, I like it when the wheels go round."

Awwww... Till next time, constant readers!